The Benefits and Pitfalls of Altruism

It’s good to be kind.

It feels good. It invites reciprocity, our sense of wellbeing, and the understanding that we are all connected.

A study conducted by a bioethicist at Case Western Reserve University, published in the International Journal of Behavioral Medicine, confirms what we already think about altruism – there is a strong connection between happiness, health, and longevity of people who practice emotional and behavioural compassion.

As well as improving the lives of those around us, we can feel good about the kindness we show others because kindness improves and prolongs our own lives.

But that same study offers a caveat. And it may seem obvious, but it’s a necessary caveat: altruism works as long as the selflessness you give doesn’t overwhelm the self that gives.

If you become overwhelmed by the helping tasks you provide others, the positive effects of altruism diminish or disappear.

If you feel that your acts of kindness are so frequent, intense, draining, and so taken for granted that they no longer feed into the wellbeing of the people around you and yourself, step away for a while. We all need to and that’s nothing to be ashamed of.

You are important. You are appreciated. You are valued.

My clients often share their thoughts and emotions with me. I’m so happy they trust me and I’m honoured to help them carry the weight. I hope that in coming to see me, our time together helps you restore your sense of self-worth, whether that’s because of the treatment, the conversation, or both.

If you need to get away, to treat yourself, don’t hesitate to reach out. If your altruism gives to you as much as you give to others, you’re doing great. Take care of you, too.

- Em